Since I started working on my masters degree, I haven't updated this blog as much as I planned to. I think it also helps that I am in a different place in my life now.
I don't cry when I talk about Cameron. My eyes may get watery a bit, but no tears. I am now okay with this. I used to feel guilty, but working on this degree has channeled my sadness into my work. I started in Social Work for the purpose of dealing with grieving parents. I still would love to deal with them, but I also know if that doesn't happen, I am going to help so many people with my MSW. And every single person that I help will be because of Cameron.
Right now I am doing my internship at the food bank and I'm challenging myself to make it a program that is more supportive of those looking for jobs since I am assigned to the workforce division. Cameron is always in the forefront of my mind. He's my baby. I actually meant another intern there who met her first social worker when she had her baby who was born still. How amazing how these babies in heaven are still making their marks in other peoples lives and it's a trinkling down effect....
So, my point of this is just to say that I probably will not be updating this as much. I still will, but it'll be like the last several months of once a month or so.
I'll still leave it up because I don't know who will come across it. When I first out that Cameron wasn't going to make it and the doctor gave me options on what to do, I went online and that is when I came across the blog community made by grieving mothers... and it helped me decide what to do and helped me with the process afterwards. I wish I could find those initial blogs I found that helped me make my decision.
So, just a note... heading to my next class soon.