Reminding myself.

I started this social work program in dedication for Cameron.  And I keep having to remind myself that during these challenging sessions through my internship. 

I am not having the best experience at my field placement.  It's a brand new program starting up that I do not feel is really helping people.  All the suggestions I have made have kinda been shunned and the boss favors two of the other interns.  My field laison from my school talked to them about the issues and now I am feeling retaliation.

I think a lot of it is coming from my work experience.  I've worked since I was 16 and have worked for major corporations and have made a pretty good salary.  And now I'm kinda back at the bottom as an intern.  And I hate being treated like I'm just starting out and a kid.  I'm not, dangit.  I just turned 30!!! 

So during my field training class yesterday, I covered my whole paper with messages to my Cameron and his name, and writing that I am doing this for him.  I keep having to remind myself because otherwise, I think I'd just withdraw.  That's how much I am unhappy over here.  I'm keeping the placement anonymous and all the details pretty broad for confidentiality purposes... but gosh, it's going to be an effort to be there till August.  But for you my baby Cameron!!!  I'm doing it...