Hummingbird

This weekend, Eric and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when I saw a hummingbird come to the sliding door windows that lead to the backyard.  I was so surprised!  It came right up to the window and buzzed around looking inside a second and then flew away.  I had never seen a hummingbird come that close... or even see a hummingbird, really.  I was amazed.  And for some reason, I keep thinking about it.  So, today, I finally looked up the meaning, wondering if the hummingbird meant something and I was astonished by what I found. 

I found this on a blog A Light In The Darkness:

It is also a symbol of love, joy, and beauty. The hummingbird is also able to fly backwards, teaching us that we can look back on our past. But, this bird also teaches that we must not dwell on our past; we need to move forward.

The hummingbird has powerful spiritual significance. In the Andes of South America the hummingbird is a symbol of resurrection. It seems to die on cold nights, but comes back to life again at sunrise.

Hummingbird is the creature that opens the heart. When the hurt that caused us to close our hearts gets a chance to heal, our hearts are free to open again.
They teach us courage. Having the courage to refrain from creating new trauma by communicating non-violently toward ourselves and others is an important part of healing. Recovering lost parts of ourselves enables us to become healthily independent.

It is not commonly known that the fluttering wings of the hummingbird move in the pattern of an infinity symbol - further solidifying their symbolism of eternity, continuity, and infinity.

Seeing the meaning of the hummingbird means more to me now... maybe Cameron was trying to tell me something with the upcoming arrival.  My mom keeps thinking of resurrection and the new baby being part of Cameron.  I know he's a part of Cameron because he's mine, but I wonder if he knew Cameron.  It's been hard to open my heart because of Cameron and the miscarriage after him... but it's slowly getting there.  As for courage... I feel anyone that has gone through this automatically has courage, but it's the part of creating new trauma that is hard.  You can't forget what's happened, but trying to live the best we can to get through it.  The symbolism just seemed so perfect.